This is the third installment in a weeklong series of the Wildcat staff’s favorite things of 2025.
Chances are, you’ve seen a specimen of the performative male subgroup in uniform: a cropped button-up, a tote bag, Clairo hits blaring through wired headphones, a Labubu hanging from a belt-loop carabiner, matcha in hand.
In early 2025, being a man and overtly (book opened to middle, cover visible to everyone) reading feminist authors like Audre Lorde or bell hooks at a café or listening to Laufey was enough to be labeled “performative” — as in performing for the sake of attracting women.
TikTok and Twitter/X were flooded with commentary on this specific genre of males — the adopters of traits (ostentatious feminism, donning exclusively thrifted clothes) and hobbies (writing poetry) that cater to the female gaze. There were even “performative male contests” that satirized the style in New York in July and San Francisco in August and then globally in October when London was overrun by record player-carrying, period cramp-opposing men.
What began as a jab at men who insincerely tout feminist literature as girlfriend-bait turned into an online viral joke. Anyone with a vinyl collection, love for women’s suffrage, and hatred for painful menstrual cycles could join the Performative Male Club, whose mission, clearly, was to land dates. (Even BOHS’s ASB capitalized on the trend with its “VSCO girl vs. performative male” spirit day in October.)
It’s been entertaining to experience a widespread trend that everyone — women too — can join in on. Seeing all genders sporting vinyl record-filled tote bags and carabiners clasping collectible figurines, both online and during school spirit days, proved that the silly mating ritual wasn’t just for laughs, but also testament to how trends create communities of people who “commit to the bit.”
Refreshing, too, is the trend’s exposing men to feminist thinking, good music, and powerful writing. In a time where toxic masculinity (see: Andrew Tate [or rather, don’t]) has risen to dangerous heights, the performative male trend is not just more necessary than ever, but, for the men who have prolonged exposure to the performance, it might even be transformative.
And the performance doesn’t seem to be abating: When this new archetype earned its own Wikipedia page, it became clear that this was not a short-lived microtrend (remember cottagecore?). Performative males will live on, Labubus hooked to their thrifted baggy jeans while unironically listening to Phoebe Bridgers.
And maybe, just maybe, he’ll actually attract that sought-after girlfriend in the process.
August • Dec 12, 2025 at 4:26 pm
Performative’s a really fun word, but I don’t know if it’s the “best” word. ‘Performative’ specifically criticizes men who stray from the norm, more than it criticizes genuine performative people, no?
Maybe because I’m Asian and queer (both of which are qualities ‘performative’ is targeted towards) it troubles me more than it should, but it’s just kind of weird. There are things from asian american culture that are labelled as performative, like boba, smiskis and sony angels, and certain online games/media. And there’s queer specific culture aspects that are too, labelled as performative (carabiners, hankerchiefs, and other queer ‘coding’). This kind of diminishes pre-existing people’s culture as fabricated for personal gain, and pushes the people in those cultures to stop participating in their activities.
Plus, instead of discouraging toxic masculinity, it encourages it more with the shaming around traditionally feminine hobbies and activities.
Why isn’t there any information about the downsides of the word and why it’s controversial? I understand that its a silly word when used correctly, but it’s been a heavily debated word since its popularity began, and ignoring that side of it in an article is misleading.